Parenting That Provokes doesn’t just look at today’s anger, it looks at the long-term potential of anger.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
First of all, let me say that this verse also applies to moms cause we are just as likely to provoke our kids as dads are.
When I think of parenting that provokes, I don’t just think of teasing or yelling, I think of the style of parenting too.
You see, it’s hard for parents to find the balance between being too protective and being too permissive. Both extremes are not healthy for your child, and both can provoke anger in your child. In the book Practical Parenting to Go, the author talks about the results of both.
- a child feeling he is not trusted
- a smothered self-esteem
- a child feeling socially awkward
- a child becoming a target for bullying
- resentment from the child
- alienation from the child
- eventual resentment towards a parent
- letting children grow up too fast
- kids failing at “raising themselves”
- kids looking elsewhere for the safety and security they lack at home
- kids feeling they are in the way and unloved
- leaves children open to making many life-altering choices, many costly and irreversible
- eventual anger towards a parent who they perceive as “not really caring about me.”