When used with precision, compromise does not make you a wishy-washy parent; it makes you a wise one.
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
Thinking of others as better than yourself sometimes means you must be willing to give up something that you were sure was very important. It’s that word we don’t like, but know we must use in order to create harmony in our families: Compromise.
How good are you at compromise?
Compromising with a spouse is a must for a healthy marriage. I think we all agree with that.
But what about compromising with your kids? It’s a parenting tool that should be used often–maybe not all the time, but there definitely is a time and place to show your kids the art of compromise.
Maybe you think that compromising with them will weaken your “power” as a parent. But “power” and control should not be the determination of your influence in your kids’ life. Sure, you should have parental power, but wielding that is not the most effective way to instill integrity and character in your children.
Compromising does not diminish your “power”; in fact, I think it strengthens your influence.
- that you are listening to and acknowledging what your kids say and feel
- that you don’t always have to be “right”
- that working with someone is better than lording over someone
When it comes to your kids health and safety, don’t compromise! But I am sure there are times when you can show your kids how compromise is done in other areas: clothes, chores, bedroom cleanliness, teen curfews.
Compromise on the things of lesser importance and stick to your guns on the things of major importance. That in itself communicates your values and priorities to your child in a way that will stick with them.
If you need guidance or help with parenting issues, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I am a life coach with 29 years of parenting experience and I would love to help you with the challenges you are facing.