The Talk
You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. Romans 2:1
Your Walk
Whenever our kids began blaming others else for a mistake or something bad that had happened, we always told them to be careful, because when you use your finger to point at someone, there’s at least three fingers pointing back at YOU.
I know that was a parental clique, but the point was this: blaming others is a useless endeavor and never resolves anything.
I was listening to a podcast recently where the speaker said this about blame:
When you shift the blame, you remain the same.
When you start blaming others for your mistakes or your problems, nothing changes because lasting change always starts inside of you, not with you looking to change others.
Another way of looking at it is to accept responsibility for something and look for ways for you to improve the situation by changing your attitude and your actions.
I fear that our kids are not learning this lesson as well as they should. The tendency for many parents is to coddle their kids by saying, “It’s not your fault, honey. It’s so-and-so’s fault.” Even if that statement is true, blaming someone else always puts your child’s eyes on them and what they did, rather on what perhaps your child could do differently.
I absolutely feel that there are times when your child needs to hear that it’s not their fault, but don’t let it end there. Is there something your child can learn from this experience? Is there something your child could do differently next time?
Instead of “shifting the blame and remaining the same,” how about doing this instead:
Pinpoint the problem and look for a resolution.
Would you like help in figuring out how you can best help your child shift from blaming all the time, to solving the problem? I’m a life coach for parents. Contact me at janisbmeredith@gmail.com for more information.
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